November 06, 2004
A visit to Embarcadero Center
Today was a low key day. Slept in late ;-)
Des and I went to Embarcadero Center. Des posted some pics of our excursion in his journal.
Bottom line: beautiful buildings, boring tenants. The shopping is spread out along four different buildings, connected above ground by over-street walkways. Lots of neat details, spiraling walkways, fountains, tile work... and the most boring shops and chain restaurants you can imagine. The rent must be low.
Not much else today. We'll probably visit my grandma tomorrow.
In other news, I've found the least worst way for me to take chlorella: one tablet + one almond + some fennel, chewed at the same time, washed down with OJ, tea, or anything with a noticeable flavor. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And I'm still searching for the perfect toothpaste. For quite a few months now I've been using Nature's Gate, Anise flavor. I enjoy most everything about it: the flavor, the texture, the way my mouth still feels clean after sleeping.
But, it contains sodium laurel sulfate. While most anti-SLS claims remain controversial, most people agree that it contributes to canker sores. I, of course, get canker sores sometimes. And while I don't think using this toothpaste has increased their frequency, it definitely increases their duration.
I'm tired of having to switch toothpastes for a few days every few months just for a company that doesn't get it. Why would you ever put SLS into something people put in their mouths?
So I've been looking for a new toothpaste. I just bought this Jason junk. Now, I hate all Jason products because the logo is ugly, and this is the first one I've tried. I want to like it, but the stuff is too thick and gooey, and gets really big in my mouth. When I spit before rinsing out comes this huge puff of dense foam. And that's no fun.
When it's gone, I'll be trying something new.
Posted by Josh A. at 09:40 PM | Comments (3)
November 05, 2004
Road trip, homemade dinner
Want to hear God laugh? Make a plan.
The plan was to leave Heartwood at 8:30, immediately following a quick breakfast.
At 8:15 I saw Beverly, my trip accomplice, and said, "That whole 8:30 thing? Not gonna happen."
And in the end, I still didn't get to shower until San Francisco.
Once again my housing situation is in flux and, once again, I'll return to Heartwood to find a new person moved in. I'm beginning to feel irritated being the odd man out. At first I thought it was this: "The problem is that they don't have enough housing, but it should stay their problem; they shouldn't make it mine." But that's shifted and what I'd really prefer to see is more communication. Rather than just move people around and make plans before talking to people, involve us in the process.
The way it happened this time was: I heard about these changes from someone not even involved in or affected by them! Then I had to take the responsibility to seek out those in charge and find out "what the hell is going on?" That's not the way I would think a community would run best.
Anyway, at first I thought a brand new work study student would be moving in, which was a bit daunting. Instead, someone I know vaguely is moving in, and may only be in for a week and then into his own room somewhere else. My eyes are rolled firmly back in distant irritation.
So I packed most of my stuff to take anyway, left some notes for the old and new roommates (however temporary), got Beverly's stuff (and Beverly herself) in the car, and hit the road.
Nice leisurely trip. We had no deadlines. We stopped at a store called Mollywog's, didn't see anything we couldn't live with out, and continued. In Hopland, we stopped at The Solar Living Institute. Awesome place, entirely powered by renewable energy sources. And they sell a lot of neat stuff from Gaiam.
Beverly's never been to San Francisco before! It was so neat to be the person to drive her into the city. As we approached, she was busy with something, and I said "Look up." and out there was the Golden Gate Bridge, and then the city skyline. As we drove across the bridge, she rolled down the window and whooped at ocean.
Presidio, Lombard, Divisadero, Castro... she got to spy the Palace of Fine Arts, Harvey Milk Plaza and the flag, and who knows what else. Later when I drove her to where she's staying I took her down Castro and then 18th for a quick preview.
When we parked, we walked toward the apartment as Des was walking up in the other direction, just arriving from work. Perfect timing!
Went to Rainbow and got groceries. I'd never shopped there before, so I had the dual obstacles of finding my way around and not getting sidetracked by the huge selection.
The bulk section was first, and in the middle of it all I realize I'm having an issue with a lack of packages. I have all these plain bags of things. I recall Paul answering a question about reading ingredients lists with, "Well if you're reading a label, it's too late."
In the end I did purchase a few packaged items: tamari, soymilk, Naked orange juice (my favorite).
When I got home, I put everything out on the counter and folded up the bags. Des took one look at the array and said, "We're gonna have to have separate grocery lists." He was so impressed he had to take a photo:
Actually I think he just wanted proof of my weirdness. But then I made dinner: sweet potatoes; brown rice with warming spices, cilantro, green onion, and dulce; and collard greens with apple cider vinegar.
His first impression was: beautiful. The bottom line: he really enjoyed it. I was glad--first time I've done any of my own whole foods cooking. I basically copied one of my favorite meals from Heartwood.
So maybe we won't have to have such separate grocery lists.
Steve came in as I was cooking. "Hello" he said, a bit surprised (pleasantly we can only hope). Once again I've invaded :-)
We opted to stay in tonight. Des has been feeling a bit under the weather and I don't find myself with any desire tonight to go to any of the bars here. Next time?
Posted by Josh A. at 09:52 PM | Comments (0)
September 28, 2004
an Off day
Woke up in a foul mood. Thinking about work stuff. Not happy because even though I was up earlier than I wanted to be, it wasn't early "enough".
Drove back to Sacramento, unhappy most of the first half of the way. Finally brought myself out of it (cognitively), and stopped in Vacaville to go to the outlets. Didn't find anything I went for, but found something unexpectedly: a copy of Donna Eden's Energy Medicine for only $6.
Trying to "listen" more. Paid 12 cents less for gas because of it, too.
Got to Sac with time to spare, made my one o'clock session, had lunch at kT Noodle with Jim -- curry chicken with rice. He lent me a bunch of CDs of massage-appropriate music, which is good because I don't have much at all. I've been using the same Timothy Leary album with everyone.
So I'm ripping all this music to my hard drive, and have come across a couple that weren't in the CDDB... that's fine, I look them up on AMG, type in the info myself, submit the track names to CDDB for other people in the future, and then rip.
[sidenote: I love that iTunes and CDDB are Unicode compatible and that an Artist name in Kanji shows up correctly!]
And then I come across some unknown album that's not anywhere to be found. WTF. "Through the Vortex with Lazaris". Oh really. "Music composed specifically for Lazaris." Mmm. "What the hell is Lazaris?", I wonder. Some kind of new age hippy event maybe?
Turns out Lazaris is YAC, or, Yet Another Channeled... well, something. Being? Entity? Spirit(s)? Like Tobias and Kryon and Abraham.
Of course the first thing I run into is this:
We are here to remind you that pain and fear are not the only methods of growth; that you can more elegantly grow through joy and love....
Nice. Now how do I DO that? That is exactly what I've been looking for, as I've wandered around Heartwood not wanting to be "that guy" who's always working through some tearful issue or traumatic memory or another. As I've grown tired of "always" dealing with "issues", if not mine, than ours, or hers, or yours.
Of course, they don't have the tracks listed on their website. What do you expect, enlightenment AND easily facilitated music "borrowing" all in one spot?
Talked with Des. No, talked. If briefly. Sooo many issues. At least we communicate about them, and we're not half bad at it if I do say so myself. But I don't always have the mental or energetic abundance to really deal with them. CPU use 90%...
And, see above. If an individual can grow through joy & love rather than pain & fear, then surely that scales. And of course the first step is to BE the change I want to see.
Speaking of that, at least one great thing came out of it: I'd like to give more positive strokes, express my appreciation more often. This helps people from feeling like they're never good enough, because they don't just hear the complaints, but the praise as well.
It's something Bruce tried to explain to me years ago, but it took being on the other end of it to really "get it".
Talked a lot with my grandma. Her days are great--filled with friends, church, music, lunches, games (mostly Uno and dominoes), exercise class, computer class, cancer support group--but her nights, I can tell how difficult they are... and she even came out and said how lonely they can be.
What a difference a sleeping body in the next room makes.
Speaking of which, she got asked on a date! Bad taste for asking so soon after my grandfather's death, but he did tell her that she's "a very attractive lady." How sweet. She told him she's too busy.
It's getting easier to hear her talk about family troubles, what with holding so much space at Heartwood. But still, people I've managed to excise from my universe still manage to reach me ever so dilutedly by their effects on her. And it's still tough to see hurt or anger in her eyes, especially over someone related to us. What do I mean, "especially"... as if she would ever give non-family so much power.
She informed me that she's not buying Xmas gifts this year. Right on. Hell, I'm driving mine. Attending mine. Storing a whole lot of stuff in mine. She does a lot for all of us. Now the question is, what can I do for her for Christmas?
What a question... she buys any material item she wants or needs. Maybe it's time to knit that shawl finally... although I doubt my ability to do it "well enough". The last thing I made her, a hat, doesn't really fit. And the bag I felted looks ridiculous. Perhaps one's grandma isn't the best person to be a knitting guinea pig, unless there's some real inborn talent manifesting itself.
So, any suggestions?
Posted by Josh A. at 11:52 PM | Comments (0)
breathe?
Time. Growl.
I gave my copy of Faster to Ste3ve, but maybe I need it back.
Or maybe I just need a copy of Power of Now.
time
I keep myself in this worried state
there's never enough time
I don't have enough time
how am I going to do all of this stuff (in time)?
when am I going to do all of this stuff?
what am I missing out on?
who will I disappoint?
how can I disappoint the least # of people?
this is one big reason I never want to get up in the morning:(
I need to slow down
I want to rela
relax
goddamnit
I want to be lighthearted
I want to use time, and not be a slave to it
I want to flow with life
That particular stream of consciousness brings cuss words to mind. Words like "Bitch." and "Fuck." One word sentences that fully encapsulate my most usual way of relating to time.
I slept until noon, and beat myself up for "wasting" all that morning time.
I rushed around to do "stuff" before going to pick up Des. I didn't get much done. Turns out I didn't feel much of an abundance of anything--time, money--other than worry.
Karim Rashid's Oh! Chair is indeed more comfortable than it looks... and still not worth $40 to me.
Posted by Josh A. at 10:30 AM | Comments (1)
September 27, 2004
Shiatsu infused
Today was productive. This morning I did my first session of break. Full supine position... well, I omitted some parts in order to keep it to the client's time frame. Got good ratings. I just hated to have to do it on the floor in the living room. No music, no aroma, no shiatsu mat even.
I looked for mats today. Damn they're expensive. Even the cheapest, non-organic mats are at least $100, more if you want a slipcover, which is a necessity considering the price of what's going inside it. I think this is the one I would most like: organic shiatsu mat from Blue Lotus Yoga.
When it got to be 'round hungry time, I was craving pho. I tracked down a place in the Richmond District on Clement St., wrote down the directions, and we went.
The food was fine. I'd probably search out a new restaurant and try their pho rather than going back. But the service was fast and friendly, and the price reasonable, as expected.
The higlight was that this was the easiest, smoothest car trip we've had in San Francisco! Not much traffic, zero one way streets, parking close by. Richmond is my new favorite area! Clement St. was something like a less urban Chinatown, full of fantastic little stores.
We went into a used bookstore, and I found four used books on Shiatsu. These should be most useful. One, 60 Second Shiatzu, is all about self-shiatsu techniques for specific issues, such as insomnia, digestion, menstrual pain/PMS, depression, colds & flus, upping your energy, etc.
Another, The Book of Shiatsu, is full of beautiful drawings and photos. It has interesting contrasts to our textbook, and I think all four will augment my studies well.
Tonight was laid back. We did have some excellent conversation on the future, and how we plan to handle some of the tasks that lay ahead of us. I'm confident that we'll navigate them successfully, especially if we continue to communicate about them effectively.
He's in bed, I'm still up. Blah. I wish sleep and wake came more easily to me. I've just about given up on my various tools... I've used hypnotherapy, EFT & TAT, cognitive techniques, good sleep hygiene (as best I can manage), affirmation.
I'd still like to have sleep observation done and get a prescription for light therapy, but I don't know when or where or how to do that, especially without health insurance.
And I still look for more tools. Polarity Therapy is probably next, with the sleep issue and all its attendant history being the focus of the session.
Posted by Josh A. at 11:00 PM | Comments (0)
September 24, 2004
Travelin'
I made it safely to Roseville! Yay.
Met Tod, he was very nice and enjoyable. The ride took longer than we expected, but
I think I need some organic quinoa and steamed kale now.
Picked up my car in Dixon, I'm so pleased to have it back. You can tell the brakes were replaced, they feel all weird. I really need to get an alignment done, though. Any mechanics in Northern California want to trade for bodywork? ;-)
So I was rehashing the obturator foramen issue with a friend, and I wanted to expand on this problem... mainly, I'm befuddled at humanity.
Kill each other savagely over little stretches of holy dirt smaller than the size of New Jersey? Yes. Have sexual intercourse with just about every type of animal on the farm? Sure. Enslave people with whatever rationalizations suit your culture just to profit? oK, oK.
But. WHO ever issued forth the sounds from their throat that, put together, sound like "obturator"? And decided "I should probably say this again."
Yick.
So tomorrow to San Francisco, Sunday is Folsom St. Fair, and then back to Sac Monday or Tuesday. Lots of stuff to do! I'm really quite happy about break, I needed it.
One of my intentions for this break is to rejuvenate, so that I can approach the second half of the program with the same level of enthusiasm I had at the beginning.
Any thoughts on how to do that? ;-)
Posted by Josh A. at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)