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April 17, 2006
Much to say
And not much energy to say it. I have notes from my Friday morning process, and half of Friday evening's experience written up... highlights:
Gettin' my religion back... if MARK can be on a whole foods vegan diet, I can certainly stop eating as carelessly as I have been. Of course, Mark pays money to go to a support group that's four nights a week where they serve you dinner and everyone rallies round their plummeting weight and cholesterol levels. And he has plenty of time to cook, if you know what I mean.
I have to get by on building my once a month whole foods potlucks. At least I have more time to cook now... read to the bottom to find out why! ;-)
By the way, why haven't the vegans sold the 90% of Americans that are seemingly obsessed with losing weight? I mean, I know that "eat all the meat you want, just no bread" sounds a lot more sexy to our crazy culture, but seriously. Did you ever meet a vegan who gained weight? Don't believe anyone who tries to convince you they "really want to lose weight" and still eats animal protein.
But I digress.
I'm being led to track down my father's parents (and possibly my father with them)... and resisting. I look out to the universe and say, "Shut up."
My "God chakra" is wide open. It's big and active. I like it.
I have serious control issues to let go of. I learned most of them from my grandma :) Ye gods, I sat in on Sunday school with her. She's the teacher for her class. It was eye opening. I love her completely, but I don't want to be like her in every way.
I have a lot more work to do on opening my heart and making it/me truly available. Once done, the flip side is that I'll also be able to receive more.
Two things I definitely have to do for myself and my relationships: 1) intro to Zen on Saturday morning, which will hopefully turn into a regular practice... 2) Go to these people's next polyamory event.
How can I expect to have a successful, satisfying life without decent therapy, zen meditation, or both? Honestly. One down, one to go.
Oh yeah, update: after 15 days of working, I got so drunk at the IEP open house that... well, that nothing. I got so drunk, and it was well worth it. To my credit, FIRST I met the director and a board member first, turned in my resume, told them how much I wanted a job, and got invited back any time to visit. THEN I drank their 1979 Cakebread Zinfandel, as well as their Barbera and Dolcetto and Pinot until I had to go.
One of their clients kissed me :-)
AND, I'm no longer working at the bookstore. In a nutshell, I said, "I have to cut back my regular availability, but I'd still like to be available for people to call to try to get their shifts covered. You're understaffed anyway, you should hire some more people." and in another nutshell, he said, "Uhh... no, how 'bout your next shift can just be your last?"
Fine by me. I am so liberated now. Damn, I've never worked for that little money per hour in my LIFE. So not worth it.
Posted by Josh A. at April 17, 2006 12:14 AM
Comments
Congrats?
Posted by: Ari Moore at April 18, 2006 01:56 PM