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February 21, 2006
Who told me?
Peter J. Carroll told me. He repeated what Hassan I Sabbah told us, "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted." Carroll also pointed out that "Nothing... is true." and "Nothing is. (True)."
Crowley told me. He said, "Love is the whole of the law. You, as every man, woman, and child, are a star."
Hugh Prather told me every which way he knew how, including "No matter what we talk about, we're all always talking about the same thing."
My friend Bob told me (lots of things, all about this.)
Louise Hay told me, saying, "The only thing we are ever working on is self-love."
Conversations With God told me in circles, describing the boundaries of truth as best anyone can with mere words.
Soyka told me, "How about you learn to love yourself the way you are first, then change." and then gave me a book of what Thich Nhat Hanh told her, Teachings On Love.
Hafiz told me, over and over again, in poem after poem.
The Abounding River Logbook told me, Abraham told me, tons of folks interested in the mechanics of manifesting told me, "It doesn't matter what you do, but how you do it."
Today I told me. Well, we told me. Not our head, or our ego, but the connected part of us, the connection in our heart from us to you and everything. It has a quiet, infinite voice.
We were asking ourselves about time, and how there doesn't seem to be enough this month, and we gently reminded ourselves that we'll do what we do, we'll get done what we get done, and none of that can possibly matter as much as how joyfully we do it matters.
Concrete example, courtesey of my coaching session yesterday: in some sense, it does not matter what I spend my money on. What matters is how I spend it. Am I awake and alive spending it? Do I look at my spending with eyes open? Is each expenditure a joyful declaration of Who I Am, what I value, where I choose to put energy in my life?
(This doing things joyfully requires a will—and a willingness—to self-definition.)
The last thing I bought was some groceries. I've talked before about how personal what we choose to put in our bodies is. Might as well make those choices joyfully, "This is how I take care of myself. (Yay!) This is how I live my life. (Yay!) This is how I enjoy eating. (Yay!) It doesn't have to look like what anyone else says it should look like. (Yay! What an understatement.)"
Even paying bills can be done joyfully. Ask Louise Hay for more info on that. If you're going to pay them anyway, then is it going to be a ritual of negative thoughts and feelings, or joy and love?
As someone who's in the middle of learning to take care of himself, I'll tell you paying bills feels like the best thing in a long time. I'm sure that will diminish as it gets routine, but it doesn't have to go away (I don't have to take it for granted, or forget that at one time I was dependent on others for my survival) and it certainly doesn't have to cross over into any level, however minor, of negativity. It's ok if it does, but I can't deny that I have a choice in the matter.
Choosing love or joy in each moment... I think it's a matter of connecting to my own heart enough. One thing I learned at Heartwood was how not to live up in my head all the time, how to be in my body as well. I think it's time to get more specific.
Posted by Josh A. at February 21, 2006 12:14 PM
Comments
Great post. I love to see you so happy and becoming even happier. Also: I too love paying bills.
Posted by: Ari Moore at February 23, 2006 06:59 AM