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October 29, 2005
Smoke and sandalwood
Tonight a friend pointed out, "You have a rich life." Acknowledging it, I feel really grateful. And I know that what I need in order to feel good being so busy isn't less work, but just more rest. More conscious rest, especially as summer finally gives way to autumn completely.
Posted by Josh A. at 09:09 PM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2005
Happiness versus Wholeness
Been reading old journal entries. Man, am I in a better place than I used to be.
Realized something!
On 2/26/02 I wrote:
5. i've never met anyone i believe is really happy. not in this infinite sense that so many are selling.
Wow... this used to plague me... for a long time, I wrestled with the apparent discrepancy between what self-help gurus were promoting and what I saw around me in the suburbs and cities I'd lived in. Where I took it was this idea that "If most people are unhappy, why would I want to do what most people do?"
At the time, it was what I needed to support me in doing things in the ways I needed to do them in order to get out of stuckness, things which flew in the face of "what most people would do". But there was still the discrepancy.
Last night I realized the synthesis : wholeness. I've been working with the concept for some time now, and been internalizing the concepts bit by bit. I think looking back at that old struggle, that I couldn't wrap my mind around before, shows me a degree to which I have integrated this way of looking at things.
Anyway, it is, in a nutshell, this: we're whole people. We have pain and joy, and they're not contradictory. The flaws and the foibles are what make us human, and lovable. Of course, I wonder, do we have trouble loving the person who appears perfect because they might be perfect, or because they're probably lying? ;-)
This all looks very obvious and non-dramatic as I write it in this entry, but it's been a big deal for me to come to. No grand words are rising in this moment to describe the poetry of recognizing wholeness, embracing and loving it by embracing and loving the folks in my life.
On a side note, I think eating whole foods is fairly important for this. They support is in wholeness and facilitate our healing if we've been eating any kind of modern diet before. Not that any of this is impossible to come by while eating fragmented processed foods, but you might need to go to seminary or sesshin or something in order to have your white flour cake and eat it, too.
Posted by Josh A. at 08:54 AM | Comments (0)