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March 12, 2005
Inner thighs, ass, and Dick
Wednesdays are even longer when I go to yoga, which I did.
A pattern is developing... I follow along with the instructor for about half the class, and then I begin doing my own thing, mostly sun salutations held a bit longer than I usually would, and a couple other poses. I don't know very many. Hey, it gets my yoga hours done.
Regarding living someone else's life... I realized that I've been holding on to some of these fears and patterns because part of me doesn't believe things are "really different", that the shit will come back and then I'll need these things to cope with it again.
Not that they were very effective. Not that I couldn't pick them back up were I to let go of them. But you try quelling your fragmented ego states with rational thought.
So I'm taking a new tack, working on learning to trust myself in new ways, specifically my body. My body has been far from an ally over the years. "Dirty, tricksy, false!" Its primary purpose in life has been to fuck with my life--oversleeping, not sleeping, feeling tired or energetic at all the wrong times.
This morning, an act of bravery: after hitting snooze a couple times, I turn the alarm clock off. I've decided to see how long before I get up without it. Somewhere is the fear that my body and sleep are still conspiring against me, and that I'll wake up too late for lunch, or worse. The fear is quickly smothered between my head and the pillow.
When I wake up, my first concern is life support options for the fear. Alas, there are none: the clock reads 9:47. I hold a small funeral for it, mourn its tragic suffocation, thank it for bringing me this far--almost a quarter century!--and then get on with my life.
Over the last week in Deep Tissue we've done medial & posterior legs, and glutes.
Many people seem to get emotional issues, particularly anger, surfacing when they get medial leg/adductor work done... of course, that's right where the Liver meridian runs. Didn't seem to bother me, though. In fact, none of it seemed all that intense until we got to the proximal attachments. They were all very tender.
I got so frustrated trying to do the work, though, that I almost cried. Then hamstrings were a breeze. And then glutes were so vague and difficult. Welcome to the Deep Tissue Rollercoaster it seems.
I met with Sue, the Ed Director, for our weekly RA meeting. I'm going to take over a bulletin board to foster community dialogue in the wake of the Community Meeting.
More great news, we have two folks visiting next week who are interested in the Director of Student Affairs position, open since Surya left.
RA Movie Night went fantastically well last night. My room was packed, we watched The End of the World, Dick, and then a clip of Triumph the Wonderdog at a Star Wars opening making fun of people.
People really loved Dick. Who doesn't love Dick? I think I'll show Hero next.
Posted by Josh A. at March 12, 2005 11:26 AM
Comments
I like Dick, Josh :-)
Posted by: Darren at March 15, 2005 09:40 PM