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January 30, 2005
Still awake
I'm looking at this photo of me and my grandparents and trying to figure out what our faces mean.
My grandpa died last April. Somehow it seems like his is the only face I can pin down. Like, now that he's "gone" he can finally be summed up.
The other two seem inscrutable. Open ended.
He looks happy. He had a basic appreciation for being alive I don't think either of us have.
For just breathing?
Not even that. It was pretty hard for him to breathe at the time.
That might make him appreciate it.
Maybe :-)
My face, I don't trust. There's a lack of transparency there. And I don't know what's being hidden. I don't like guile and agenda in myself.
Hers is likewise opaque, but I think I have a handle on what's behind it. But maybe I don't. There's the open ending.
A lot of pain. I just don't know all the details.
Posted by Josh A. at January 30, 2005 01:52 AM
Comments
Perhaps the looks are of uncertainty. Surely at that time, there was so much uncertainty. Yourself not knowing where you were going, what you were doing and your grandmothers uncertainty about those same things in you. Think about who was taking the picture. A stranger pretty much to your grandmother. Fairly still a stranger to you. Im not certain it is as deceptive as you may think. Perhaps its a love and appreciation for being together.
Posted by: Desmond at January 30, 2005 09:33 AM