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December 07, 2004
Easier than I thought
Sooo tired. I didn't get to sleep until after midnight, and almost didn't make breakfast. As it was, I didn't want any of the food and just had an orange. Man, it was just what I wanted. Tasted really nice.
So in class at one point Nishkama looks at me and says innocently, "You have anger." My reflex was dismissal, but as I thought about it I realized I was angry at myself, very angry, pissed off about staying up and being tired. With awareness, I began to let go of it, but only somewhat. As I sit here typing, I am still holding on to a bit of it.
Today we did the facial sequence, including learning how to do a facial effleurage. How weird. I gave first, which got me out of my tired/angry funk. Receiving, I went promptly to sleep. I tried to stay conscious so I could give my partner feedback, but had little success.
We finished bodywork with half an hour left of class. At the end of class, it was difficult for us to wrap up discussion. I was so grateful we did the bodywork first, because had we started with discussion we absolutely would have talked more than 30 minutes and then wouldn't have had time for the bodywork.
The discussion was on the issues that have been up for the class, and went fairly well. I passed around a copy of the list I complied of issues (sorted geekily by category) and their corresponding suggested solutions that we brainstormed over the weekend. Amy took that copy home with her.
Of course, positive change has already happened with doing bodywork first. That was the major shift needed to solve most of the big problems. Just little stuff left. Tomorrow we will probably make up an essence spritz for the room. Amy even has a number of gem essences she's made.
Lunch was yummy, and the power went out. The sun out and there was enough light to study in the library during my meal.
When we got to A&P, the power was still out and Soyka hadn't been able to photocopy the test. She offered us some options, and we chose to do group open book test (we're not dumb!). Turns out I could have taken it on my own just fine... which means I stressed for nothing.
I've been trying to drop old school patterns, especially studying to tests and cramming. I was able to let go of some of that today, as well as let go of much of the stress, but I didn't do so entirely. Looks like I completely could have. Can always let go of stress of course, it doesn't help or change anything.
I had no energy for TPS today. My head hurt (need sleep!), but my cough is really clearing... almost gone.
Dinner was great... black bean tortilla soup, guacamole, wild rice, and such.
I've spent most of the evening doing some organizing, hole punching, filing, etc., and chatting with Des. He's coming up this weekend (yay) and I wanted to know what kind of bodywork he might be interested in receiving. There are people on campus doing myofascial release, cranio-sacral, polarity, swedish, and shiatsu. Of course, I get first dibs on him.
All in all, today was tired and long, but easier than I thought it would be. The hard part will be getting myself into that bed anytime soon.
Posted by Josh A. at December 7, 2004 10:28 PM