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October 07, 2004
Hell week almost over
I did not want to get out of bed today. One, I needed sleep. Two, I wasn't looking forward to being conscious. I thought I slept in past breakfast, but somehow my clock was an hour off, so that was a pleasant surprise.
After I did get up, I checked my email and got a lot happier... for a while. I was so pleased while showering, breakfast, and shiatsu. We had heart circle in class, and then drew meridians and acupoints on each other.
But things dropped off in the afternoon. I felt pretty depressed during musculoskeletal anatomy... I was finding it very hard to be present, and found myself much happier after it was all over. The science classes are important to me, but I was finding it impossible to see it as important from 1:45 to 3:45 today. But, that's the time that's set aside for it, and I got through it. Even palpated part of the quadratus lumborum.
I'm still interested in growing more elegantly, and after talking with Des I'm thinking the next step is to be a channel for fear and pain, rather than staying stuck in them or wishing they would go away.
Funny how the Universe works sometimes... synchronicities... things that seem to happen just when I need them. Monday we talked about the Fire Element, which has to do with, among other things, our relationships. And it was almost too relevant... difficult to listen to in class. And then yesterday in Conscious Communication Skills we talked about Truth Telling, at just about the time it's becoming apparent that I need to commit myself to always speaking my truth.
We talked about Non-Truth, Half Truths, and The Unarguable Truth. Looking over the examples, I find that I have experience with all three. She defined truth as "That which cannot be argued with." Our handout says "The cash value of telling the truth is that it stops arguments."
In case you're wondering, good examples of Truth include sensations and feelings, mostly in "I Statements". There are more, but those are the basics.
I managed to shower a little bit ago... I went all out, dragged the speakers and iPod in there, played loud punk music, it was nice.
Next up is dinner, than Sarah's show. I probably won't be able to write about it until tomorrow, so you'll just have to wait until then.
Posted by Josh A. at October 7, 2004 05:30 PM